The Parenting Project
by Bekahful
Summary: Officially adopted by BeastBoyLover246!
1. Stuck

Chapter 1- Stuck- BPOV

Stupid, stupid Mr. Banner! Why couldn't he be the Juniors' science teacher two years in a row? Why am I forced to suffer like this?

If I've had one stroke of _good_ luck in the past four years it's that I've never had to talk to _him_, that arrogant jerk of a human. Even though he doesn't think he's human. Sigh, but now his never acknowledging my existence is about to change, unfortunately.

Of course he's gorgeous and all, but he knows it and uses it. I hate him.

Go burn in hell, Edward Cullen.

xxx

"Who'd you get paired up with for the parenting thing?" my BFF, Alice Cullen, aka Edward's adopted sister, asked me.

I don't know how it's possible that Alice is such a nice person and her brother is the most jerky, horrible guy I've ever met, or not met in this case.

Why does the Forks School District force this parenting project upon its innocent, unsuspecting seniors? Well, most of us are innocent anyway.

"Becky? Hey, looks like we've slept together before! How come I wasn't aware of this? Sup Alice," Edward called from down the hall. Every girl (and Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie, and Tyler Crowley) within hearing distance stopped what they were doing and gave me death glares. If looks could kill, I'd be repeatedly dying painfully at least a hundred times.

"Almost say the Devil's name and the Devil shall appear," I whispered to a shocked Alice.

"Him?" She yell-whispered a response.

"Unfortunately, I'm stuck with him for a whole three months! Life sucks."

"No, just yours. I got paired up with Jasper, you know Jasper Whitlock?" she explained.

"I like to whisper, too!" a musical, velvety voice quoted. "Hi Becky, Fat-lice," he nodded to each of us before turning to wink at the two most slutty girls in the school, Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley.

"Hello, Smelled-ward," Alice replied. "Her name's Bella, not Becky, idiot."

Edward turned his head back to look me over a few times.

"My apologies, Bella," he grinned his signature crooked smile.

Even though I knew he wasn't, that was so gentleman-like of him…. It just might've changed my perspective of him a bit.

"So," I started, "What's the kids name? It's not going to be Edward, Jr.," I pulled the doll out of my backpack, sneering the words 'Edward, Jr.'

"Jeez, you already had the baby? How long ago did I sleep with you?" he chuckled.

Well, that just changed the slight respect he gained back to none….

"Ha ha, very funny, but would you stop with the sex jokes now? I mean, really, do you see the death glares people are giving me? Anyways, I was thinking the kid's name should be 'Jacob' or 'Gabe' or 'Eli' or 'Seth.' Maybe even 'Pancho,' just because it's ridiculous."

"How can I see the death glares people are giving you when all I see is you?" he was so quiet I wasn't even sure he actually said that. Nah, he couldn't've. Just imagining things I guess. Besides, isn't he dating that Leah Clearwater chick from the Quileute reservation down in La Push? Or was it Rosalie Hale? Or Lauren Mallory? Or all three? Oh my gosh, I think it is all three….

"Well, what if it's a girl? She won't be Alice or Bella, Jr. if the boy can't be Edward, Jr." he smiled. Stupid glorious smile, always making my face about as red as a poinsettia.

"Emily, Stephenie, Renée, Esme… Renesmee," I mused.

"Renesmee's a pretty name!" Alice chirped in, making me jump about three feet in the air, I'd totally forgotten she was here! As soon as I was back in my chair… Chair? Wow, we must've unconsciously walked to lunch. As soon as I was back in my chair I was poinsettia-face, again.

"Sorry, Bella. Hey, you gonna eat that apple?" she apologized.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I said before handing her my brilliant green Granny Smith.

"Well, here's the moment of truth. Change its diaper." he demanded. What a jerk, seriously.

"Thanks for giving me options," my voice dripping with sarcasm and, for the first time, looking up into his dazzling emeralds he calls eyes. I had to look away quickly, no need to get people worried by hyperventilating and turning tomato-red.

Fifty-two seconds later I, apparently, had something really important (to me at least) to announce.

"Renesmee."


	2. Maybe I Should've Been Suspended

**Disclaimer: ****I don't, unfortunately, own anything Twilight-related… except all four books, a shirt, and a little, itty-bitty picture. All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just wanna play with them.**

**A/N: ****My second chapter! Yay! Enjoy! Also, this chapter is dedicated to seven people, **_Liz_**, thanks for being my first reviewer, you rock my socks! Second, **_bitemeplease235_**, thanks so much for reviewing, I really do love your stories! Third, **_cherryblossom654_**, sorry about the mix-up, yours is really good! Fourth, **_Lost in Believing_**, I am not kidding when I say you write some of my absolute favorite stories! Fifth, my two other only reviewers, **_ultraviolet spark _**and **_atlantis sg1_**, thanks. FINALLY, and I know this is the longest Author's Note in the history of Author's Notes and this is just making it longer, but this is also dedicated to **_Hugh Laurie_**. Thanks for faking an American accent for us! You rock, man!**

Wow, thank God Rosalie let me out of the supply closet before class started this time.

Mr. Banner was threatening to suspend me if I was late again. Plus, last time I came I with lipstick all over my face and everyone was laughing at me. Well, Jasper and Emmett, you could call them my posse, were laughing at me, all the girls were furious, except for Jessica Stanley, who lied about how it was her lipstick… yeah, kinda dumb considering she was on time for class and I wasn't, the only other girl who just kept working was that Becky Swan girl, but she never gives a crap.

"Actually on time today, I see, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Banner said as I sauntered over to my seat next to Mike Newton.

"Okay, class, today we're starting a, well, actually, it's more of a Health project, but the school's too small to have a Health class. Anyways, it's a parenting project, you'll all be assigned partners and pretend to be parents for the next three months."

Happy, happy, joy, joy. Maybe I should've been late and gotten suspended. Then I wouldn't be forced to do this, at least. Well, I guess as long as it's someone hot, I wouldn't care.

"Lauren Mallory, you're with Mike Newton, Katie Marshall with Conner King, Alice Cullen and Jasper Whitlock, Rosalie Whitlock and Emmett McCarthy, Bella and Edward," Bella? So it wasn't Becky? "And, I'm sorry about this guys, but there were no other females in the class, so Tyler and Eric, you'll have to choose which one'll be the mother of your 'kid.'"

Who cares, they were gay anyways. Seriously, I think I saw a smile flash across Crowley's face.

**45 MINUTES LATER…**

"Becky? Hey, looks like we've slept together before! How come I wasn't aware of this? Sup Alice," I yelled down the hall. It got pretty quiet all of a sudden, weird.

Becky and Alice started whispering a conversation, prob'ly about something stupid, like shoes, or Halloween costumes, I don't know.

"I like to whisper, too!" I quoted from that really funny movie, ELF with Will Ferrell. "Hey Becky, Fat-lice," I nodded to each of them before turning to one of my girlfriends, Lauren Mallory with that Jessica Stanley girl and winked. They just giggled and kept walking.

It's true, they are some of the biggest sluts in school, but Lauren was a good kisser and amazing with her hands, so I didn't care.

Hmmm… maybe I should dump her, though. I mean, we've been going out for two whole weeks! That's the longest I've ever used a girl!

Plus, if we kept hooking up everyday she might get pregnant or something, and I could not be a dad!

I'm gonna miss her.

"Hello, _Smelled-ward_. Her names Bella and mine is Alice, idiot," oh yeah, it was Bella, oh well.

I wouldn't've really cared if I hadn't looked her over a few times. God, did I hope she wasn't a virgin!

Right now I'm wondering why the hell's she's considered and outcast, probably because of the way she dresses. I mean, if she played herself up more she's literally be the hottest girl in school!

_Bella _(I remembered her name this time!) had really amazing creamy-colored skin, she wasn't too fat or too skinny, beautiful chocolate hair that matched her deep chocolate eyes, killer legs, and, most importantly to a guy like me, amazing boobs.

"My apologies, Bella," I said, flashing my signature crooked smile.

I swear I just saw her tremble a little bit.

"So," she started, getting a hold of herself, "What's the kid's name? It's _not _going to be 'Edward, Jr.'" she sneered, pulling out of her backpack.

"Jeez," I chuckled, "You already had the baby? How long ago did I sleep with you?"

"Ha ha, very funny, but would you please stop with the sex jokes, now? I mean, really, do you see the death glares people are giving me? Anyways, I was thinking the kid's name should be 'Jacob', or 'Seth', or 'Eli', or 'Gabe'. Maybe even 'Pancho', just because that's so ridiculous."

"How am I supposed to see the death glares people are giving you when all I see is you?" I whispered under my breath. For a second, she looked at me like I was crazy, but it was gone before I blinked.

"What if it's a girl? She won't be Bella or Alice, Jr. if the boy can't be Edward, Jr.," I smiled again. Oh. My. God. Is she trying to kill me? I really can't control myself that well, especially after finally realizing how freaking hot she is. She just turned the most amazing shade of pink. It was like when you see the sun on the water; it just blows your mind! Oh crap! Did I just say that? I hope I'm not going soft, more importantly, I hope she is making me go soft. Leah, Rosalie, and Lauren would not like it if I went soft, not to mention me!

"Well, then, what about Emily? Stephenie? Renée, Esme… Renesmee…" she mused.

"Renesmee's a pretty name!" Alice chirped in, it was hilarious watching her jump about three feet in the air. She clearly forgot Alice was here… and apparently that we were in the lunchroom.

"Sorry, Bella. Hey, you gonna eat that apple?" she apologized.

Until then I didn't realize I still had the doll in my hand, but it was clearly wet. Stupid Wendy Wee-Wee or whatever it is **(A/N: Try saying that five times fast, Wendy Wee-Wee or whatever it is, Wendy Wee-Wee or whatev…) **.

"Well, here's the moment of truth, change it's diaper." okay, that was a little demanding, but, hey, I'm Edward Cullen.

"Thanks for giving me options," her voice dripping with sarcasm. Obviously she didn't see it that way, but at least it got her to look up at me for the first time. Maybe that was a bad idea, she looked like she was going to start hyperventilating at any second. She had to turn away before I could persuade her to come home with me tonight, that sucks. Oh well, I still have three months.

About fifty-two-no-I'm-not-telling-you-details-because-you-don't-wanna-know-comma-obviously-she's-never-changed-a-diaper-before seconds later, she said it, "Renesmee."

**Review, review, review and I'll post the next chapter!**


	3. Drake

**Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own any of the characters. All things belong to the great author, Stephenie Meyer. I, too (just like the awesome fanfic-er, **_SavageWoman_**), just wanna play wif them!**

**A/N: This chapter's still dedicated to **_Liz_**, thanx for being my first ever reviewer! Also, **_Lost in Believing_**, my fanfic role-model, and all the people that added me to their Favorites and/or reviewed, and what not. OK, now I'm finished, you can read the chapter now. No, no, wait… right… Now!**

BPOV

"Renesmee," I announced.

All of a sudden there was this piano song. What the hell? I may've only been to Forks High for four years, like most of the seniors, but I've been here long enough to know there's no piano in the cafeteria.

Oh. My. God! That's Edward's ringtone! He likes classical music? What the effing hell? **(A/N: Create a Tab right now and go to Youtube dot com and type in **"The River Flows in You" by Yiruma**, another reason why this chapter's dedicated to **_Lost in Believing_**, that song is amazing! Thanks for recommending it!) **

"Oh, yeah, I composed it myself, but you didn't just hear that- especially not from me," he told me, as if reading my mind, while multitasking and putting the phone on speaker.

"Edward?" I heard Dr. Carlisle Cullen on the other end of Edward's cell. I know Dr. Cullen well, what with all seventy billion trips to the ER- only sixty nine billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine were mine! The other one was for Harry Clearwater, my dad's, Charlie's, best friend. He had a heart attack over spring break. He died like three days later.

"Carlisle?" Edward asked. "Hey, what is it?"

"Do you have me on speakerphone? I have something kinda private I need to tell you."

"Anything you can say in front of me, you can definitely say in front of my peeps," peeps? Wow, what an arrogant loser, everyone here at Forks knows that line is sooo 2006!

"You asked for it," Carlisle mumbled. "It's about Drake." DRAKE?!? WHO THE HELL IS DRAKE!?!?

"Relax, Bella, no need to yell!" Holy Crap! Did I just say that out loud? Looking around at all the faces staring at me, apparently I did.

I think I turned about twenty shades of bright red I didn't know existed before Carlisle spoke again, three seconds later.

"Hey, Bella, nice to hear from you again. No injuries in the past week, isn't that a first?" Carlisle teased.

"Well, if I hadn't tripped and scraped my hands on Tuesday it would've been a first. Yep," I answered seriously.

"So, what about… um… Drake?" Edward asked nervously. I don't know why the heck he didn't take the phone off speaker, oh, there we go, well, I guess we won't be able to listen to the rest of the conversation.

Edward just kept mumbling "I know, I know, it's all my fault," over and over again, except one time I coulda sworn he said something that sounded like 'Stupid vodka and Jack Daniel's' but you can never tell, right?

RIIING!

The damn bell always interrupts my thoughts. I didn't get another chance to think about lunch until after school.

"So, you want to come over for dinner tonight?" Alice chirped. That seems to be the only thing she does these days, chirp.

"What about that Drake person?" I asked.

"I have no idea who the hell that is. Oh well, I'm sure it's fine. Come over 'round seven," she suggested.

I nodded my head and walked over to my faded red Ford. I was totally oblivious to Adonis in my car, I unlocked my door and climbed in, turning to my favorite radio station, Live 105.5. Right now Ryan Seacrest was playing the Top Forty, with Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours", and it just started.

"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it,

I tried to stay chill, but you're so hot that I melted,

I fell right through the cracks

And now I'm trying to get back!"

I even went to the local smoothie place without seeing the Greek god in my car! Though, I was surprised, I was fast enough that they were still playing "I'm Yours".

"I'm bending over backwards just to try to see you clearer,

But my breath fogged up the glass,

So I drew a new face and laughed!"

It was finally at my house that I realized he was there, after spilling strawberry-banana goodness all over my leg.

"Crap, crap, crap!" I exclaimed, reaching for a napkin from the glove department. Ouch! I think I just got shocked from the glove department. Not that it was really painful, it was just a passing of electricity from one substance through another, that's through another, not to another. Because of my preoccupied-ness, it took me way longer than it should've to realize that the electricity came from a chalky white hand.

"OH MY GOD! Edward! What are you doing in my truck! You just about gave me a heart attack, I don't want to end up like Harry Clearwater!" okay, I have to admit that was kinda mean.

"Watching you drive home. Wow, when you spilled that smoothie, I thought I was going to laugh so hard you'd realize I was here sooner."

Holy shit, and it was here, alone, without anything to stop me from showing Edward how easily tempted I can be, that I notice what Adonis decided to wear today. Just my luck.

He looks so effing hot with that navy blue, tight-fitted shirt. Seriously, you could see just about every freaking muscle in his body from that shirt. Stupid star quarterback.

"If I could interrupt your ogling, no don't try to hide it," he started with that signature crooked smile, "I just wanted to thank you for showing me where your house is," he finished rather seductively.

"Gah," was all that would come out of my mouth at the moment. Once I cleared my thoughts, me brilliant comeback became, "Well, I'll see you later."

He winked and took off. I had absolutely no idea where he was going, or how he was gonna get to get there, but apparently, I had some outfit-deciding to do.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

About forty-five minutes later, I was waiting outside the Cullen household, which I'd been at so many times thanks to Alice being my best friend. Hopefully my attire was appropriate enough, I was wearing the skinny jeans I, actually Alice, bought for me for special occasions, like dates. Hah! Yeah, right, me and dates just tend to not mix together well. I really loved this shirt, though, it was a Metallica shirt, that, well, I kinda sorta mighta got from the Men's section of Forks's version of Target, lamely enough, it was called Bull's-eye. And the finishing touch was my favorite brown hoodie, I really only wore it so Alice wouldn't get pissed at me for wearing my Metallica shirt.

I rang the doorbell and waited for someone to open it, I was perfectly aware I was allowed to just walk in, what with me being here so often, but I did it more out of politeness and habit than anything else.

I was absolutely not prepared for who opened it, though.

**So, kind of a cliffy, eh? Yes, I know I'm evil, but honestly, honey, I've been called so much freaking worse. ;P**

**Anyways, so, who opens the door? Is it Edward, or Drake, or someone else altogether, like Rosalie? Guess you'll have to review to find out!**

**Speaking of reviews, well, let's get this straight, my name is Rebekah, and I HATE the nickname Becky, it's just not me, and besides, I don't have a 'c' in my name! It just doesn't make sense. Anyways, when you were commenting on Becky Swan and what not, at first I'm like 'How do they know my name's Rebekah and I hate the name Becky?' but then it made sense, so, yeah, just my funny little random story of the day. Thanks for reviewing, buddy!**


	4. Shock of My Life

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, Stephenie Meyer does. **

**A/N: Dedicated to Bryan Webster, sixth grader at De Anza Middle School. Though you only know me as the girl who didn't pass you the ball when you missed a free throw, I love you! Have fun with Chloe.**

**Also dedicated to Lost in Believing, of course, and edwardsoul because she writes one of the most well-written stories on fan fiction! Read her story, LOST and Lost in Believing's 50 Things to do When You're Bored, Bring it On, Cullen Academy, and all her billions of stories for High School Musical and The Hunger Games! Finally, also dedicated to Hugh Laurie, again, thanks for faking an American accent for our entertainment, it's my favorite show ever! You rock.**

**BPOV- ps yay chapter four!**

I totally wasn't prepared for who opened the door, though.

"Daddy? Who's girl?" the adorable four-year-old yelled into the house.

He was really cute, his bronze hare and hazel eyes were the prettiest colors I'd ever seen, other than my favorite deep royal blue and emerald green **(A/N: emerald green is Edward's eyes!)**

The little boy looked a lot like Edward, it must just be a coincidence, though, he's probably just another kid Carlisle adopted.

"Bella! What the hel-ck, heck, are you doing here?!?" Edward glared at me so furiously I couldn't control my violent shaking before I answered.

"Uh, A-A-Alice inv-v-ited mee over for d-dinner," I explained, stuttering like there was an earthquake.

"Alice! Get the heck down here, _now_!" he yelled up the stairs. "Fine, come in," he added severely to me.

I did as I was told and soon came face-to-face with a open-mouthed, absolutely shocked Alice.

I wanted to yell 'What the hell is going on? Why are you so upset! It's just another kid your 'dad' adopted!' but before I could say a word Alice started screaming in Edward's angry face.

"I can't believe you didn't tell your own sister, Edward! Your own f*cking sister**!"(A/N: Alice is gonna cuss a lot, and I'm not exactly like that, even though I am, so I didn't want to offend anybody or affect my reputation as sweet and innocent- which I'm sooo not- by actually writing out the cuss word, just wanted to let you know she's actually saying that) **she accused.

"You never needed to know about Drake!" he snapped. "Besides, I didn't know about him either until she sent me an invitation for his first birthday!"

"That was three f*cking years ago, Edward!" she snapped back, poking him in the ever-so muscular chest. I can't believe it, I'm thinking about things like that during a time like this!

"Stop cussing in front of him!" he yelled in her face. By now, the four-year-old, who was apparently the infamous Drake, was cowering behind me.

"Who's gonna make me, Man Whore?" Alice screamed in Edward's face.

And that's about when I pieced it together like a jigsaw puzzle I could finally see the picture on the front of the box of.

"Edward?" I said softly. "Is Drake your son?" I continued in a whisper.

I never thought I'd see this day in my life. Edward Cullen, the most notorious yet popular person in all of Forks, no, probably in all of Seattle County, breaking down and… crying?

"Yeeeees…." he whimpered.

"Who's the mom?" I asked.

**A/N: Oh my, another cliffy! Stupid computer won't let me write the word cliffy with an 'ie'! I've already written the next chapter and started on chapter 6, but to read them you'll have to do one thing, I think you know what it is! REVIEW!!!!!!**

**PS- How the hell do I get the links of websites on my freaking profile? TEAM EDWARD! (Cuz Jake can't sparkle! Sorry- I got that from an ad selling Twilight clothes! : ) )**

**Sorry about the short chapter. The next one is kinda short, too.**


	5. All Your Fault

**Disclaimer: Jeez! All I wanna do is write this chapter, but no I have to explain how these characters don't belong to me! JK! No, I don't mind, especially if it helps me to not be in trouble with the law! Ha! An underaged seventh grader getting in trouble with the law, if she skipped a grade (even though it was freaking kindergarten- hey, kinder is mandatory, unlike preschool, OK?), she's clearly smart enough to keep out of legal trouble. Sigh, I do not own Edward Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Alice Cullen, Emmett McCarty (though I coulda sworn it was McCartHy), or Jasper Whitlock, OR Bella Swan/ Charlie Swan. BUT, I do own Drake Cullen, and Rosalie WHITLOCK! Yeah, that's right, Whitlock! Well, maybe I don't own her, I don't know, but I think I do.**

**A/N: Damn, I think that's the longest disclaimer I've ever seen. This chapter is dedicated to, like normal, Liz, Hugh Laurie, Robert Pattinson (though, strangely, I'm actually not obsessed with him!), Lost in Believing, and all that good stuff, including Bryan Webster (see last chapter), but this time there's someone extra special I wanna thank. Yes, I was eavesdropping when you were talking about this site, but thanks so FREAKING much to Joanne Garong, and I hope you're OK with me writing your full name on the Web, an- ty- ways, I wouldn't've known about fan fiction if it weren't for her! Also, John Miller, AKA, Mr. Miller, you teach a rocking history class! Now, I think I'll just "cut through all the red tape," (THAT WAS YOUR LAMEST JOKE EVER, MILLER!) and write my story. HOWEVER, there are a few thing you should know, first of all, it's April, because, as you'll find out around prob'ly chapter 6 or 7, there is a special holiday in April, TAX DAY IS NOT A FREAKING HOLIDAY, well, I mean I guess it is because it's my bro's bday, but vat ever!**

**APOV- Yay, Chap 5! It's finally considered a story!**

Today was an amazing day! I got paired up with Jasper Whitlock! Jasper Whitlock, can you believe it?

He's the hottest guy in school! Well, to me, anyway. All the girls, hopefully aside from my BFF, Bella Swan, swoon over Edward Cullen, a hideous excuse for a brother, if you ask me. I might be one of he only people on the face of this planet that knows the real him- a sweetheart. So it bugs me as hell the person he is around his 'friends', or everyone as I like to put it.

I really did think I knew my real brother, but clearly I was wrong.

I was ecstatic on the ride home! So happy about my life- from my name to my clothes to my parenting partner to my canary yellow Porsche 911 Turbo.

And then I got home.

"Alice? This is Drake. My son- my biological son." Those were Edward's exact words.

"And all this time I thought you were still actually a virgin?" I screamed in his face and flew up the stairs.

_DING DONG!_

Holy Crap, I forgot I asked Bella over for dinner!

"Daddy? Who's girl?" Drake yelled into the house. Uh-oh.

"Bella? What the hel-ck, heck, are you doing here!" Edward screeched and watched her shake violently.

"Uh, A-A-Alice inv-v-ited mee over for d-dinner," I heard a muffled answer.

"ALICE! Get down here, now!" Obviously he didn't hear me listening from the top of the stairs.

Apparently, I still looked shocked or red from crying or something, because Bella looked at me confused.

It was all kind of a blur, and yes, I know how clishè that sounds, but still, it was true. So, there!

I remember the violent talk, and then suddenly Edward was breaking down and Bella was in on the secret and I remember Bella saying "Who's the mom?" which, right now, is exactly what I want to know!

So great, my day just went from the best ever (even better than Bella Barbie days!) to shit.

**A/N: Sorry, it's so freaking short! Also, yes, I know everyone in this story is extremely OOC, if that means what I think it means- out of character- but that's the way it's supposed to be. Review, review, review, review, review, review, review! And think hard, what holiday is early April? Wow, my disclaimer and Author's Note were practically a whole page long!**


	6. He he, April Fools'

**Disclaimer: Did you really think I owned them? PS Hi Person-Who's-Job-It-Is-To-Read-Disclaimers-All-Day! No, you're right, I don't own these characters or really anything…. FROWNY FACE! OHMYGOD! Twilight came out on DVD on Saturday! I DON'T HAVE IT! Cue Huge Ginormous Sigh.**

**A/N: OK, So, apparently I have some clearing up to do. First of all, no, it is ALL HUMAN, it might've said "cold, white hand," but it also said "the dazzling green emeralds he calls eyes," so, clearly, this is ALL HUMAN! OK, also, soooooo sorry I haven't updated in several days, I reeaaally wanted to leave you a cliffhanger. Third, you guys Freaking Rock! Last time I checked, 52 F*CKING Reviews? So. Freaking. Awesome. Might not be as much as other people, but it's still cool for someone's first story. Love you! Dedicated to my BFF & F & F & F & F & F & F & F & F & F, Madelynn Loffswold. Also, .Aras because she was the first to realize what the holiday was and Vampire's Kisses for Me because she gave me the idea of the mom. AND OF COURSE, Lost in Believing. Read on!**

**BPOV**

"Who's the mom?" I asked him. Alice folded her arms and looked like that's exactly what she wanted to know.

As much as I now hated his guts, one, for getting drunk (now understanding that I wasn't delirious for thinking he muttered "Stupid vodka" under his breath), and two, getting extremely "passionate" with someone while he was drunk, so passionate in fact, that a poor eighth-grader became pregnant. Even though I now hated his guts, I did feel really bad for him.

"Her name was… Victoria, Victoria James-Laurent **(A/N: Stupid last name, I know, I couldn't think of anything)**," he whispered.

"The redhead?" Alice gasped while he nodded. "But he looks nothing like her!"

"Yeah, he kinda took after me a bit," Edward explained.

Before I could remember who the hell Victoria was, I was being pulled up the stairs by a very angry Alice.

"Bella, if you value my sanity, you'd better let me play Bella Barbie to get my mind off this," she hissed menacingly. I just gave up and walked by her side, it just so happened that I did value her sanity.

Once we got into Alice's room she walked over to the calendar before going into her abnormally huge bathroom.

It was almost amusing to watch Alice's expression change so drastically in about .45 seconds. Almost, until I realized she was pissed- and I mean Pissed!

"EDWARD! GET THE F*CK UP HERE! NOW, DAMMIT!" Alice screeched so loud I had to cover my ears.

**(A/N: I was soo tempted to stop here, but that's just too effing short! You're welcome!)**

"Jeez, Alice, could you be any louder I don't think I heard you," I said extremely sarcastically.

"Wow, I was wondering when you'd realize what day it was. Gotta admit that was pretty great. Carlisle was in on it, too. Yep, Drake's just his second cousin three times removed's nephew. Confusing, isn't it?" he smiled smugly. "By the way, April Fool's."

"Goodbye Alice, would you mind doing my parenting project for me? I don't think I'll be talking to your bitch of a brother ever again after this. Edward, that was the sickest thing I've ever seen, I officially hate your freaking guts." I stated and stomped to my car.

"Aw, c'mon, Bella, it was just a joke!" his tone changed from whiny to shocked and slightly offended as he saw me give him the finger.

Three weeks passed. Alice never took my spot in the parenting project, but other than rarely telling each other when it was the other's turn to keep the baby at their house for the next three days, I never talked to Edward.

"Bella? Wanna come over to my house tonight? We could play Bella Barbie and use my bed as a runway! Oh, but don't worry, you won't have to talk to _him, he _promised to stay in his room or the piano room if you're coming!" Alice explained in one breath.

"I don't know Ali, I got a lot of pre-calculus homework and stuff…." I quickly lied, there was no way in hell I was going over to the Cullens' unless I knew for absolute sure he wasn't gonna be there.

"Oh, shut up! Angela was telling me all about how the calc homework was incredibly easy! Liar, what's the real reason you don't wanna come, I'm telling you Edw- you won't even know he's there. Besides, it was just an April Fool's joke! C'mon, pleeeaaase? Please, Bella? Please? Pretty please with Robert Pattinson on top?" **(A/N: I am not obsessed with Robert Pattinson, maybe Twilight, but not Robert Pattinson!) **Alice pouted.

"Alice! You know that's soo not fair! Fine! Hey, do you think Drake's gonna be there, even if he isn't Edward-" that was hard to say out loud-"'s son, he was kind of cute!" I finally gave in.

"YAY! Thanks so much, Bells! Yeah, Carlisle has to take care of him for the next six months while his second cousins three times removed do this science expedition thing in Australia, and part of Edward being able to do the prank was Eddiekins had to take care and responsibility for Mr. Baby-face. Come over 'round four, okay? See ya, Bells, speaking of bells, it's gonna ring in exactly thirty seven seconds **(A/N: That was no random number, it was from Breaking Dawn, when Bella passed out after the fight and heard the Cullens talking, Alice said Bella would open her eyes in exactly thirty seven seconds!)**, so I'm gonna head to my next class, so bye!" Alice waved and dumped her untouched food in the trash.

Right as I was about to get up none other than Eric Yorkie came my way. Oh, joy! Note the sarcasm.

"Hey, Bella wazzup, d'you see that one movie about the girl who fell in love with a vampire…" I sorta tuned it out from there, but thirty seven seconds later the bell rang. Saved by the bell, so clichè.

"Bye Eric." I stated and started to walk away.

"Bella, wait, I was wondering… if, um… maybe you wanted to…" Oh please no! "Maybe, go out… with, uh, me…"

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!

"Let's get to class, Bella, Eric, Edward," Mr. Greene barked. Wait, Edward? What?

My eyes bulged as I did a one eighty, there he was, in all his gorgeousness. Wow, even when he's pissed he's still kinda hot. Wait, no, I did not just say that! I can't like him! I hate his guts! It might've just been a prank, but you can't lie like that about something so important. "It's just a prank Bella, jeez, get over it!" the small voice in my head argued.

"Sorry, Eric, I, um, am already dating someone else… Am I right, _Eddiekins_?" I gulped. Please play along, please, please, please play along!

"Who? Oh, yeah, that's right Bells, totally, yeah, sorry Eric, back off man, we're together, didn't you know?" he explained walking over to me to snake an arm around my waist. Nice, what the hell did you just get yourself into, Bella? 'Dating' your worst enemy? Your sister's jerk of a friend? "Hey, he's not that bad!" the small voice in my head argued again. Why does it keep doing that? Just guilty I hope, there's no way I could possibly have feelings for him? Right? "By the way, sorry, and never call me that again, _looove_," he whispered in my ear so that only I could here.

"Oh, really, how come I didn't hear anything about it?" Eric never gives up, does he?

"Maybe because you're head's too thick for anything to get past it, ding dong," Edward replied, really rudely, I probably would have hit him if I wasn't so mortified right now.

"Well, then, why don't you kiss?" Eric scoffed. Edward just smiled.

Oh, crap, what did I get myself into?

**A/N: OK, so, I really did try to get this up yesterday, but I knew you guys were pissed about the short cliffhangers, so I made it longer. I know, this is a cliffy too, but it is longer… I think. Anyways, this is also dedicated to Llama Mama 23 because Vampiric Peaches is THE FUNNIEST ONESHOT EVER!!!!**

**That was seriously freaking hi larious! And the teeth? Hah! That was great, you should do a series, apples, tomatoes, pineapples, bananas! K, Review and I promise to get the next chapter up sooner! Sorry about the late update!**


	7. The Bet

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, well, actually I do, I do own the book, but nothing in this story 'cept the plot! =D**

**A/N: K, it's short this time! For Amber Baker and my lil bro, Fatzo, jk, Teddy! I'm sorry, I know all of you wanted them to kiss, but…**

**BPOV**

Oh, crap, what did I get myself into?

_RIIIIINNGGG!!! _

Saved by the tardy bell. Again!

"I'll get you next time, Bella Swan, and your little 'boyfriend', too! Muah ha ha!" Eric Yorkie cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West, using quotation marks on the word boyfriend.

"Creep," Edward whispered. It felt like he was whispering in my ear because Eric forced us so close. And, me being me, I jumped.

"Well, that was close," I exhaled a breath I didn't know I held as Eric ran off to his next class. For the first time I looked up at Edward, he looked really disappointed, like he's been waiting all his life for Eric to come harass me and give me no other option than to pretend to be Edward's girlfriend.

"Hmm, but I don't think it's over, yet," uh oh, he's starting to smile mischievously, that can't be good. "Maybe we should practice the 'kissing scene' if that's what you wish to call it."

"Sorry, but I'm already late for class, and I'm not ready to forgive you," I stated and started walking off. And again, me being me, walking straight into a wall. Nice.

"Holy Crap, Bella, are you okay? I think we should take you to the nurse," even though I knew he was truly worried, I could hear him trying to swallow back his laughter. And failing miserably. "C'mon, let me help you up."

"Hell no, back off, I'm fine, just gonna have a bruise on my nose is all, now let me get to Gym," I tried to pull away from him. Wait, what the ef am I saying? I want to go to Gym? "On second thought, oh, I'm in horrible, horrible pain! I think I need to skip Gym, oh, and you know what? I don't think I'm well enough for Math either." I faked.

"Oh, yes, maybe I should take you to the Nurse, then you should take the rest of school off and come see my dad, a professional doctor," Edward explained, rather loud, you could tell because I could hear it over the ringing sound in my ears.

Several minutes and X-Rays later, I was at the Cullens'.

"Alice won't be home for another hour and a half, Carlisle's still at work, and Esme's grocery shopping. Which she can get very carried away with. So, about that, uh, 'kissing scene'…" we started to lean closer and closer and closer to each other. Until… I put my hand in front of his mouth.

" I told you I'm not anywhere near close to forgiving you yet, jackass. Besides, isn't Drake here?" I asked.

"Nope, with Esme, she loves him so much, it's pretty convenient when you want to kiss your sister's best friend who happens to break her nose and ends up with you all alone in their ginormous, pale mansion," he breathed and I could feel it on my face. I didn't realize just how close we'd gotten until then, ten millimeters apart I might add.

"Look, jackass, yeah, get used to that name, it's officially yours. Look, I'm not your sex toy, or your fuck buddy or anything. Stay the hell away from me. Don't make me prove my point through song," I warned him.

"Actually, you sang Jason Mraz's "I'm Your's" pretty well, I wouldn't mind listening to another song, in fact we have a karaoke, if you'd like to pass the time like that," he chuckled. "It's like an iPod, you download any song onto a specific chip and you can sing to it. Background or with lead," Jackass explained.

"Tell you what, Jackass, I'll sing a song if you sing a song," I bargained.

"Deal," he agreed, holding out his hand.

"Okay, but let's make this interesting, if I sing best, you can only be around me when I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend, if you win, you get…?" Wow, not smart of me to let him decide. He'd probably choose something like 'You have to sleep with me,' or something else I'd never otherwise agree to.

"A kiss." Ed- I mean, Jackass, stated simply.

"Alright, do you have 'Gives You Hell' by All American Rejects? Oh, and if you're wondering why I chose that song it's because it reminds me of you," I smiled sweetly while Edward just walked over to the karaoke machine and pressed a button. He pulled down a huge projection screen I've never seen before over the TV and the screen showed me the lyrics were about to pop up in 5... 4... 3... 2...

"_I wake up every evening_

_With a big smile on my face,_

_Never feels out of place._

_And you're still probably working _

_At a 9 to 5 pace_

_I wonder how bad that tastes_

_When you see my face hope it gives you hell_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_When you walk my way hope it gives you hell_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_Now where's your picket fence, love,_

_And where's that shiny car?_

_And did it ever get you far?_

_You've never seemed so tense, love,_

_I've never seen you fall so hard_

_Do you know where you are?_

_And truth be told I miss you,_

_And truth be told I'm lying_

_When you see my face hope it gives you hell_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_When you walk my way hope it gives you hell_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_If you find a man," _I couldn't stop giggling, which made me miss the next two words, damn!

"_A damn and treats you well,_

_Well, he's a fool and you're just as well,_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_(Hope it gives you hell)_

_Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself,_

'_Yeah, where'd it all go wrong?'_

_Well, the list goes on and on_

_And truth be told I miss you,_

_And truth be told I'm lying_

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell,_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell,_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_When you find a woman that's worth a damn_

_And treats you well,_

_Well than she's a fool, you're just as well,_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_Now, you'll never see_

_What you've done to me_

_You can take back your memories,_

_They're no good to me_

_And here's all your lies,_

_You can look me in the eyes_

_With the sad, sad look that you wear so well!"_

There was a two second long drum solo and then it sounded like a gym full of Emmett McCarty-s were yelling,

"_When you see my face hope it gives you hell,_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_When you walk my way hope it gives you hell _

_Hope it gives you hell_

_If you find a woman that's worth a damn and treats you well,_

_Well, she's a fool, you're just as well _

_Hope it gives you hell,"_

And then the lead singer started singing again,

"_When you see my face hope it gives you hell, _

_Hope it gives you hell_

_When you walk my way hope it gives you hell,_

_Hope it gives you hell,_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_When you hear this song and you sing along,_

_You'll never tell_

_And you're the fool_

_I'm just as well,_

_Hope it gives you hell_

_When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell_

_And when you sing along I hope that it puts you through hell."_

FINALLY! That's a pretty freaking long song!

"Your turn, Jackass!" I handed Edward the mic.

**A/N: Sorry, that just took so long to write, though! I can't write two! The song Edward's gonna sing is Hellogoodbye's "Here (In Your Arms)". It totally sounds like something SM's Twilight's Edward would sing for Bella! I love it! But, before you do your research, review! Ten reviews and you can kiss the EIGHTH chapter… hello! Also dedicated to vampires in peach form. Go read Llama Mama 23's oneshot, Vampiric Peaches! (But only after you review!)**


	8. Winner

**Disclaimer: Trust me, if I owned any of the Twilight characters or this song, I wouldn't be here…**

**A/N: I know my A/Ns are long so I'll let you off easy this time, but expect revenge at the bottom!**

**EPOV**

"Your turn, Jackass," she handed me the mic.

Wow, she sings so beautifully, I knew I was ogling by the time she finished her song, and I know it was her way of telling me to leave her the hell alone, but I still couldn't pull my eyes away from her.

Suddenly Bella started coming closer and closer, and then there would be these weird flashes of darkness every other second, obscuring my view. And then I realized it was Bella's hand.

"Hey, pretty boy, your turn," she said in that kind of are-you-sure-you're-not-crazy kind of voice.

"Yeah, totally, of course, I mean… right, okay, good thing we have "Here (In Your Arms)" by Hellogoodbye, oh, and if you're wondering why I chose that song it's because it reminds me of you," I mimicked her sarcastic smile. Well, here goes nothing, 5... 4... 3... 2...

"_I like_

_Where we are_

_When we drive_

_In your car_

_I like_

_Where we are…_

_Here_

"_Cause our lips can touch_

_And our cheeks can brush_

_Our lips can touch…_

_Here_

"_Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me_

_Whispers 'Hello, I missed you quite terribly,'_

_Now I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_

_And there's no place I could be.._

_Than here in your arms_

"_I like where you sleep_

_When you sleep_

_Next to me_

_I like where you sleep…_

_Here_

"_Our lips can touch_

_And our cheeks can brush_

_Cause our lips can touch…_

_Here_

"_Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me _

_Whispers 'Hello I miss you quite terribly' _

_Now I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_

_Now there's no place else I could be_

_But here in your arms_

"_Our lips can touch,_

_Our lips can touch_

"_Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me,_

_Whispers 'Hello, I've missed you quite terribly' _

_Now I fell in love, in love with you suddenly,_

_Now there's no place else I could be_

_But here in your arms_

"_You are the one, the one that lies close to me, _

_Whispers 'Hello, I've missed you quite terribly'_

_I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_

_There's no place else I could be _

_But here in your arms…_

_But here in your arms."_

Okay, so some parts of that song might make her feel awkward, considering I said it reminds me of her- oh, wait, the scores…

"YE- What? You… won? But… but… Oh, crap." Bella whined.

"Hmm, I believe you owe me a kiss, okay now the rules-" I started, before Ms. Doe Eyes over here so rudely interrupted.

"Rules?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yes, rules-"

"But that's so-"

"Stop interrupting me!" I shouted after she attempted to cut me off again. "The rules are as follows, must be at least… five seconds, has to be on the lips," I gave her a meaningful look before continuing, "And has to be right now." I finished, pleased that, one, I get to kiss this amazing girl, and two, I finished before being interrupted again.

"Fine, let's just get this over with!" Bella sighed exasperatedly (A/N: Wow, is that even a word? Apparently. I kinda just made it up, hoping spell check would 'approve' it, lol).

"Gladly." I stated.

I know I'm gonna sound like a chick, but W-O-W! They say that when you kiss someone you really like there's fireworks. Yeah, comparing that to this, I mean, whoa, seriously_, _I can't even begin to imagine, all I know was it was a hell of a lot better than anything I've done with other girls, and we still had our shirts on, seriously. It was indescribable, but somewhat like being electrocuted, except exhilarating, and it felt good. And the best part, it's so been over five seconds!_ She likes me, too!_ I thought in a singsong voice-thought- thing way.

"What the hell is going on!?!" Of course Alice just had to screw up the moment. Wow, it's already been an hour? Not the kiss, of course, but our whole, everything… "Do you know how scary it is to walk in on my bestest best friend and dick of a brother making out???" Alice asked sharply. Of course _she _wouldn't approve.

"We weren't making out," Bella rubbed her swollen mouth with the back of her hand fiercely, ha ha, kind of like she thought I had cooties, aw man, those were the golden years. "He just won a bet."

"What did you bet on? How long it would take to get you in his pants? Yep, that sounds exactly like him," Alice sighed. I thought she knew I was still a virgin?

"No, that!" Bella pointed at the projector and overhead at the same time I voiced my thoughts, saying, "I thought you knew I was still a virgin?"

And again Bella speaks at the same time as someone else. "WHAT?" at the same time Alice agrees, "Oh, yeah, that's right, but still, I can tell you'd like Bella in your pants."

Oops, forgot no one else at school except Alice knew I was still non-unvirginized, if that makes any sense. Just great, now four other people from school know. Wait, four?

"So what if that's true. Oh, and Alice? What are Rosalie Whitlock **(A/N: Lame, I know, sorry)**, Emmett McCarty, and Jasper Whitlock doing with you in our house?" I asked a little hesitatingly.

"Well, Rose has become my new also-BFF, not Rosalie Hale, who you are currently dating, but Rosalie Whitlock, Jasper's. Surprising that there are two Rosalies on campus, no? Doesn't seem to be a very popular name… Anyway, she's dating Emmett, who is really cool and just a big teddy bear, and they are the parents of their parenting project. I asked if they wanted to come over to work on it here and they said okay. Jasper… Well… Jasperisthe'dad'ofourparentingprojectbecausewe'reworkingonittogetherandhe'snowofficiallymyboyfriend! Woo hoo!" **(A/N: That's "Jasper is the 'dad' of our parenting project because we're working on it together and he's now officially my boyfriend! Woo hoo!") **she said that all in super-hyper-pixie speed, so I had to concentrate really hard. I barely got that last part about her and Jazz being a couple. Wait, her and Jazz are a couple???

"OHMYGOSH! Alice! Why didn't you tell me you were dating Jasper Whitlock?" Bells exclaimed in a really high, girly voice.

"I sorta texted you every time we were on a date… You were too busy about..alota stuff. Guess you never paid attention." Alice looked down like she was really sad, but the next second you could practically see the light bulb go on over her head bounced back up and had the biggest grin on her face I've ever seen. "So, you were playing with the karaoke? Great, I have an idea! And give me a chance, before you all groan just hear me out. Okay, so we're gonna play a game, it's going to be exactly like what Edward and Bella did, get in pairs and make a bet. Whoever gets the lower of the two scores in singing has to follow through with the bet. It can be anything except money, okay? So go get in pairs-wait, actually, first Rose and Emmett go, then me and Jasper, and finally Bella and Edward. Then you get to choose who you want to be paired up with, alright?" she chirped while bouncing. The evil, little demon-pixie was a foot in the air with every bounce. I can't believe it, where did she get all this energy from?

"Alright, Rosie Posie, what's the bet?" Emmett asked.

"Hmmm… if I win… I get those Stilettos I wanted, you?" Rosalie stated.

"IF I WIN YOU MAKE ME BROWNIES!!!" Emmett screamed in joy, guess Alice was right, he's a ginormous teddy bear. I couldn't help but smile at his childishness.

"Alright, alright, Emmett. Okay, do you guys have… 'Celebrate' by Le Meu Le Purr **(A/N: Link on profile, I think)**? I love that song!" wow, Rosalie? Le Meu Le Purr? Wow, I love that band!

"Yeah!" Alice chirped. Again, where the hell does she get all this energy from?

One "Celebrate" and "Eye of the Tiger" later, never thought I'd say this, but, "The winner is…"

**A/N: I'm really sorry all my chapters are so short. I just can't write something out like fifty billion pages long, plus, cliffhangers are kind of my thing. Good place to stop. Sorry about the Writer's Block, guys, thanks CherryBlossom654 for the idea, it helped. Also, pEaCeLoVeEdWaRd1901, considering how much your reviews make **_**me**_** smile, I'm sure you do smile a lot ;). Oh, yeah, and by the way… please don't be pissed, but, I've been on Spring Break the past week, and still haven't updated.. I feel horrible! So sorry. Well, I am updating now, that's good, right? Right? Right!? Pfblblblbl. That's me taking a deep breath and exhaling while flapping my lips together so it makes that motor sound. Oh, yeah, and you'll never guess who wins the bet! Tee hee. No hints. Except maybe Bella hates Stilettos. Yeah, that's good. I'll try updating everyday next week, but I see my dad every other weekend and this weekend is one of those weekends where I see him, so I won't be able to update Saturday or Sunday, sorry. Oh, and next weekend is my lil bro's first birthday party! And Easter, so I won't be able to update then either. I'M SO SORRY THIS IS LONG! Just filling you in on unimportant parts of my life! L8r alig8r 11eleven1**

**-vampirefan17... Aka Rebekah the Awesome (slight inside joke, lol, I miss 2008, De Anza Middle School ROCKS MY SOCKS!) . Shut up computer! Too bad, that's how I spell my name! It's with a K-A-H, got it?**

**(Computer: Well, touchy!) **


	9. Karaoke Night

**Disclaimer: Insert creative way of saying 'I don't own the rights of Twilight' here.**

**A/N: As promised, one chapter everyday. If I can't post a chapter that day, I'll post two the next day, and so on. Hands down dedicated to pEaCeLoVeEdWaRd1901. I did spell that right, right? Yay, I did!**

**P.S.- I'm getting kinda tired of writing 'A/N:' so anything in bold from now on is an Author's Note!**

**BPOV**

One "Celebrate" and "Eye of the Tiger" later, Edward was announcing who the winner was.

"The winner is… Emmett?" Wow. Wasn't expecting that.

It's weird, you'd think Rosalie would be an amazing singer and Emmett, well, you'd expect that if he were going to pursue a career in music it'd be more screamo band, but Emmett actually won.

True, he still wasn't the best singer, but clearly he was better than Rosalie.

I feel bad for Le Meu **(short for Le Meu Le Purr- last song- "Celebrate"- has a link on my profile! I do '!' s a lot….) **. Poor Aaron **(lead singer)**, no offense, but Rosalie should never go on American Idol, unless she has some secret obsession with Simon and harsh criticism.

Let's just say if this was Singstar, you know, the first one that came out, Rosalie would be "Tone Deaf" and Emmett would be a "Wannabe".

"Don't worry, Rosie Posie, you don't have to make brownies until after we're all done," Emmett said before beginning his and Rosalie's make out session… uhh….

"So, Jazzy," Alice began. I think I already know what she's going to say, there's only one thing she could want. "If I win… you come on a shopping spree with me without any complaints! And, yes, we're going to hit every store in the mall that's worth my time!" Alice shouted. Of course she'd pick shopping.

"That's fine, Ali, but if I win… no shopping for a month! Well, I guess you could, but not with me! Yes!" Jasper is a smart person to say no shopping. Very smart indeed, but now, of course, he's forcing Alice's shopping sprees upon me and Rose, maybe Emmett and possibly Edward, but most likely just me and Rosalie. Curse Jasper.

"Oh. My. Gawd! I totally wanna sing 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' by Cindy What's-Her-Face!" Alice exclaimed.

"Lauper?" Jasper asked. I'm starting to think he knows everything, what with his 4.0 and pop culture smarts.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ready? Hit the button, Eddie!" Alice chirped. Of course, forgetting Edward despises the name 'Eddie', so he crossed his arms and turned his head, refusing. I swear he's pickier than a girl, it's just a name.

"Ugh, seriously, Edward? It's just a name, she forgot, jeez! Fine, I'll do it myself," I sighed.

"_When the work and day is done,_

_Oh girls just wanna have fu-un,_

_Oh girls just wanna have fun!"_

Alice sang her heart out, choosing to sing with Cindy Lauper as opposed to by herself, which was probably a smart move, considering she always sings an octave higher than the song- and in this song, that's pretty high!

When she was done, Jasper chose "I Miss You" by Blink 182 **(my all-time favorite band!)**.

"_Hello there, _

_The angel from my nightmare,_

_The shadow in the background of the morgue,_

_The unsuspecting victim_

_Of the darkness in the valley,_

_We can live like Jack and Sally if we want._

_Where you can always find me._

_We'll have Halloween on Christmas,_

_And in the night we'll wish this never ends,_

_Wish this never ends._

"_Where are you?_

_And I am so sorry,_

_I cannot sleep,_

_I cannot dream tonight,_

_I need somebody and_

_Always this sick, strange darkness_

_Comes creeping on,_

_So haunting every time_

_And as I stared I counted_

_The webs from all the spiders,_

_Catching them and eating their insides,_

_Like indecision to call you,_

_And hear your voice of treason,_

_Won't you come home and stop this pain tonight?_

_Stop this pain tonight._

"_Don't waste your time on me,_

_You're already the voice inside my head_

_(Miss You, Miss You)_

"_Don't waste your time on me,_

_You're already the voice inside my head_

_(Miss You, Miss You)_

"_Don't waste your time on me,_

_You're already the voice inside my head_

_(Miss You, Miss You)_

"_Don't waste your time on me,_

_You're already the voice inside my head_

_(Miss You, Miss You)_

"_Don't waste your time on me, _

_You're already the voice inside my head_

_(Miss You, Miss You) _

"_Don't waste your time on me,_

_You're already the voice inside my head_

_(Miss You, Miss You)_

"_(Miss You, Miss You)_

"_(Miss You, Miss You)_

"_(Miss You, Miss You)"_

**(Sorry, couldn't resist some Blink 182, anyways, that should be up on my profile soon!!!)**

Well, you have to admit Jasper has good taste in music and can sing very well. Naturally, he won- Alice is such a good singer, it's just that the microphone couldn't pick up her voice, heck, only dogs could pick up her voice!

"Yeah! No shopping for a month! Sweet! This calls for a victory dance!" he then proceeded to wiggle his arms (like the wave) and hum the Magic Mountain theme song **(We like to potty, we like, we like to potty. Tee hee…) **.

"I know exactly what song I want, but first the bet. How 'bout… I got it! If I win… you have to stop being such a player, settle down, and find a girlfriend. No more one-night stands, though, apparently you're still miraculously a virgin… Who woulda thought?" I said.

"Fine, I'll agree to that. But, if I win… you have to help me with Drake for the rest of the six months!" he suggested.

"Deal," I agreed.

"Deal," he agreed.

"Eddie," I smirked, "can you start the The Foo Fighters' "The Pretender," please?"

"Of course! Man, that song rocks!" he didn't even hesitate.

The last thing I heard before the music was Alice mumbling, "Oh, sure, anything for Bella no matter what, but not for your adorable sister…."

"_Keep you in the dark,_

_You know they all_

_Pretend_

"_Keep you in the dark,_

_And so it all_

_Began_

"_Send in your skeletons_

_Sing as their bones go marching in…_

_Again_

"_The need you buried deep_

_The secrets that you keep are at the ready,_

_Are you ready?_

"_I'm finished making sense_

_Done pleading ignorance_

_That whole…_

_Defense_

"_Spinning infinity_

_Boy, the wheel is spinning me,_

_It's never-ending,_

_Never ending,_

_Same old story_

"_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_What if I say I'm not just another one_

_Of your plays?_

_You're the pretender,_

_What if I say I will never surrender?_

"_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_What if I say I'm not just another one_

_Of your plays?_

_You're the pretender,_

_What if I say I will never surrender?_

"_In time our soul untold_

_I'm just another soul for sale…_

_Oh, well_

"_The page is out of print,_

_We are not permanent_

_We're temporary,_

_Temporary,_

_Same old story_

"_What if I say I'm not like the others? _

_What if I say I'm not just another one_

_Of your plays?_

_You're the pretender,_

_What if I say I will never surrender?_

"_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_What if I say I'm not just another one_

_Of your plays?_

_You're the pretender,_

_What if I say I will never surrender?_

"_I'm the voice inside your head_

_You refuse to hear,_

_I'm the face you have to face_

_Mirrored in your stare,_

_I'm what's left,_

_I'm what's right,_

_I'm the enemy,_

_I'm the hand that will take you down,_

_Bring you to your knees_

"_So, who are you?_

_Yeah, who are you?_

_Yeah, who are you?_

_Yeah, who are you?_

"_Keep you in the dark_

_You know they all_

_Pretend_

"_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_What if I say I'm not just another one_

_Of your plays?_

_You're the pretender,_

_What if I say I will never surrender?_

"_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_What if I say I'm not just another one _

_Of your plays?_

_You're the pretender,_

_What if I say I will never surrender?_

"_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_(Keep you in the dark)_

_What if I say I'm not just another one_

_(You know they all)_

_Of your plays?_

_You're the pretender,_

_(Pretend)_

_What if I say I will never surrender?_

"_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_(Keep you in the dark)_

_What if I say I'm not just another one_

_(You know they all)_

_Of your plays?_

_You're the pretender,_

_(Pretend)_

_What if I say I will never surrender?_

"_So, who are you?_

_Yeah, who are you?_

_Yeah, who are you?"_

**(Should be on profile soon!!!)**

"Great job, but I'll still win. I know the perfect song. Bella," uh-oh, he's smiling deviously, deviously smiling is never good! "Do you happen to like The Verve's 'Bittersweet Symphony?'"

"NO WAY! I LOOOVVE THAT SONG!!!" I yelled. Pretty loud, I might add. "How did you know that's my favorite song?" I asked Edward.

"I heard you talk about it in your sleep once. Uh, I mean, uh… lucky guess? Sorry-kkk- we're-kkkkkkk- I can't hear- kkkkk- we're breaking up-kkkkk-sorry, wha-kkkk!" Edward stuttered.

"Dude, we're not on the phone!" Emmett pointed out.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I muttered.

"Cool! I'm a superhero? Can I have Batman's super powers?" Emmett asked.

"Uh, Emmett, Batman doesn't have any powers, just handy gadgets," Jasper sounded like he was explaining to a kid how Santa Claus doesn't exist for the first time.

"What?!? Ruin my dreams why don't you?!?!" Emmett screeched.

"Besides, what if you're not the superhero? What if you're the bad guy?" Rose asked. "Sorry, couldn't help but quote from my favorite movie, it's called _Twilight_, about this girl named Bella Swan-" hey that's my name! "- who falls in love with a vampire named Edward Cullen.-" hey that's Edward's name! Are the FBI spying on us again? And I thought Alice was just kidding! "-It's very-"

"Guys? Can I play the song now?" Edward interrupted.

"Hello, guys, gals, nice to see you're actually using that old karaoke," Esme, Carlisle, and Drake came in.

"Auntie Bewah!" Drake exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air, almost hitting Carlisle.

"Hey, guys? How does Drake know my name?" I asked as he came running onto my lap.

"Sshhh! It's about to start!" Edward hissed.

And sure enough, 5... 4... 3... 2...

"_Cause it's a bittersweet symphony_

_That's li-ife._

"_Trying to make ends meet, _

_You're a slave to money then _

_You di-ie_

"_I'll take you down the only_

_Road I've ever been down_

_You know the one _

_That takes you to the place_

_Where all the veins meet,_

_Yeah_

"_No change, _

_I can't change, I can't change,_

_I can't change,_

_But I'm here,_

_In my mold,_

_I am here in my mold,_

_And I'm a million different people_

_From one day to the next, _

_I can't change_

_My mold,_

_No, no, no, no, no (no, no)_

_(Have you ever been down)_

"_Well, I've never prayed, _

_But tonight I'm on my knees, _

_Yeah_

"_I need to hear some sounds _

_That recognize the pain in me,_

_Yeah_

"_I'll let the melody shine,_

_Let it cleanse my mind,_

_I feel free,_

_Now_

"_But the airwaves are clean_

_And there's nobody singing to me,_

_Now_

"_No change, _

_I can't change, I can't change,_

_I can't change_

_But I'm here,_

_In my mold,_

_I am here, _

_In my mold_

_But I'm a million different people_

_From one day to the next I can't change_

_My mold, _

_No, no, no, no, no (no, no)_

"_Cause it's a bittersweet symphony_

_That's li-ife_

"_Trying to make ends meet,_

_You're a slave to money,_

_Then you di-ie_

"_I'll take you down_

_The only road I've ever been down_

_You know the one_

_That takes you to the place_

_Where all the veins meet,_

_Yeah_

"_You know, _

_I can't change, I can't change_

_I can't change, I can't change_

_But I'm here in my mold,_

_I am here, _

_In my mold,_

_But I'm a million different people_

_From one day to the next,_

_I can't change my mold,_

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no_

"_I can't change_

_My mold _

_No, no, no, no, no_

"_I can't change_

_My mold _

_No, no, no, no, no_

"_(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)_

"_(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)_

"_(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)_

_(Ever been down…)" _

**Ten pages, that's the longest I've written yet! OK, so most of it is songs, but you wanted longer chapters! So, what did Edward mean 'I heard you talk about it in your sleep?' Why is Batman Emmett's favorite 'super' hero? Is the FBI actually spying on the Cullens and made a movie about them? Why does Drake know Bella's name? Find out next time on… The Parenting Project! (sounds the same way as Jeff Probst when he says 'Next time on… Survivor!' JSYK…) All songs should be on profile ASAP. Bye bye! =D **

**P.S.- now it's eleven pages on Microsoft Works!**


	10. Those Three Magic Words

Disclaimer: No Twilight for me… Stephenie Meyer owns all!

I'm sooo sorry, we went to L.A. today, that's why this is so late at night, well, 5:47, but still….

EPOV-

**Okay, truth time. I lost on purpose. (so tempted to stop here ={D ) **I've been wanting to stop being a player for some time, well, since I got to know Bella, but it's not like I could just stop, y'know.

I think about Bella all the time, and talk about her a lot, too, so that's why Drake knows her as Auntie Bella, or Auntie Bewah as he calls her.

When I said I heard her talk about The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony" it was at one of her and Alice's sleepovers, Alice brought me in to doodle all over my Bella's face while she was sleeping. Whoa. _My_ Bella? No, not _my_ Bella, soon, maybe, but for now, just the love of my life. Okay, that's still a big deal.

This was such a great opportunity to prove to Bella that I can be a gentleman, so I'm taking it. I purposely sang at least one note in each verse off so that she would win. And she did, yes!

"In your face, Edward! What happened to your winning streak, man? And now you have to stop being a player! This day keeps getting better and better!" Bella yelled at me.

"Yeah, yeah, well, see ya guys in a bit, I have to go tell Rose, Lauren, and Leah we're done," I announced while grabbing my keys to my shiny, silver Volvo (pic on profile soon).

"Hel-ck, heck, no, you have some explaining to do before you go anywhere," Bella gave a pointed look at Drake who was asleep on her lap with his arms around her neck.

"Oh, yeah, well… I'minlovewithyousoItalkaboutyouinfrontofDrakealotandsinceI'msomethinglikehisunclehecallsyouAuntieBewahbecausehecan'tpronounceyournamerightbecausehe'sfour, see ya!" I explained at the speed of light and ran out of the house before Bella could respond.

**Aw, so he tells her he loves her! How sweet… Sorry, switching POVs here. A lot.**

**APOV- **

OH. MY. GOD!!!! Edward just told Bella he loves her! I doubt anyone else caught that though. One of the many perks of being a super hyper pixie is you talk fast and understand fast talkers. I wonder if I should tell Bella, well… maybe not yet, I'll just interrogate Edward fist… oh, I can't help it!

"Bella! Edward just said he loves you! Isn't that amazing?" I blurted out.

**EmPOV-**

What'd Eddie say? Something about light bulbs and tacos? Oh, that reminds me, Rose has to make me brownies. Yay! I love brownies! They're like what comes out of a dog's--

"Bella! Edward just said he loves you! Isn't that amazing?" Alice blurted out.

How rude she interrupted my thought. Now, what was I talking about? Oh, that reminds me, Rose has to make me brownies. Yay! I love brownies! They're like what comes out of a dog's--

**JPOV-**

Yes, no shopping for a whole month!

"Bella! Edward just said he loves you! Isn't that amazing?" Alice blurted out.

What? Edward Cullen is in love? That's so unlike him!

**RPOV-**

I can't believe I lost! Well, at least it's just brownies…. For now.

"Bella! Edward just said he loves you! Isn't that amazing?" Alice blurted out.

**BPOV-**

What'd Edward say? That's so not fair, I didn't even get to ask him what he said before he ran out of the house. I wonder why he's dumping all of those girls and not keeping at least one as his girlfriend. Guess they're all bitches or something.

"Bella! Edward just said he loves you! Isn't that amazing?" Alice blurted out.

"He said what??? When did he say that? What are you talking about? Are you sure? When? Why? What?" I questioned Al.

"I told you, he said he loves you. He said that right now, when he was explaining how Drake knows you he said 'I'm in love with you, so, I talk about you in front of Drake a lot, and since I'm something like his uncle, he calls you Auntie Bewah because he can't pronounce your name right because he's four.' I'm talking about Edward loving you, yes, I'm sure, being able to talk at light speed allows you to understand other people who talk at light speed, just a second ago, because you're an amazing person, and for your final question, _he loves you_," Alice stated, answering each of my questions.

"No way, Edward can't like me, let alone love me!" I refuse to believe it was even legal someone like Edward to be remotely interested in someone like me. My name should be a cuss word, I'm so… so insignificant and not beautiful or important.

"Bella! Stop putting yourself down immediately!" Alice shouted. Nobody was really paying attention anymore, Jasper was sucked into some Civil War book, Rose and Emmett were making out in the kitchen, and, from the moans and yelps coming from upstairs, you could tell Esme and Carlisle weren't listening in.

"But… I've been so mean and rude to Edward that there's no way he could like me! Face it, Alice, it's absolutely impossible!" I argued back.

"What's absolutely impossible?" Edward's here. Great.

"Er, that Robert Pattinson-" I started.

"Edward, please tell Bella you said you loved her," Alice pleaded.

"I, uh, I have a-absolutely n-n- Ok, yes I said I love you Bella, now bye," Edward stuttered and ran up to his room.

Me, being me, just sat there in shock. Literally, my mouth formed an 'O' shape.

"I told you s-" Alice began, but I cut her off.

"Alice did you know 'I told you so' has a brother? His name is 'Shut the hell up !'" I screamed at her, thus, waking Drake up.

"Ooh, Auntie Bewah is swewing (that's 'swearing')!" Drake yawned.

It was so cute that I laughed until I fell asleep with Drake in my arms on the couch.

**APOV-**

Edward loves Bella! Edward loves Bella! I knew it, I was so right! But the best part is hands down this part- interrogating him; milking all his information to the last drop! Muah ha ha! I'm such an evil little pixie!

Thankfully, when we moved to this house, Esme decided we were too young to have locks on our doors, and we just got so used to it, we never got around to putting up locks, therefore, there's no way Edward could have blocked me out of his room.

And sure enough there I stand, confronting Edward about his love for my best friend.

"Edward, is it absolutely, one hundred percent true you love Bella?" Might as well start seemingly innocent….

"Yes, I've said that, what? Twenty bazillion times tonight?" Edward replied.

"Oh, because you know she doesn't believe it, she thinks you're too good for her, ha! You? Better than her? Frankly, I don't know what she sees, ever since you changed you've been a total monster! It's so sick of you to use girls like that, just because they used to make fun of you before your… he he… 'makeover', ha!" I accused.

"It wasn't a makeover, it was an enhancement! Makeovers are for girls! And, yeah, I know she's too good for me, but it doesn't mean I should be restricted of my right to free speech. Besides, I'm not using girls, I just give 'em a taste of their own medicine! Okay, so maybe I'm using them a little bit, but it's my fault the ones I make out with are so stupid, seriously…." he tried arguing back.

"It is to your fault, you choose them! And then once in the janitor's closet and bye-bye! You're so full of yourself, I don't know how you'll make Bella fall for you, you should be considered a swear word because you are one disgusting excuse of a human!" I shouted. "I don't know where simply teasing you became shouting at you about all your faults, but I don't want to yell about you for the rest of my life, yes, that's how long it'll take to explain how many things you've done wrong, so I'm going to bed, good night, Ed-wart," and with that I stormed off to my room, but not, of course, before hearing his brilliant comeback.

"Same her, Fat-lice!" Ed-wart, because that's his new name, shouted down the hall.

**BPOV-**

I had the most weirdest dream last night. It was really weird, Eric Yorkie asked me out and the only person around was Edward, so I told Eric me and Edward were dating, but then the bell rang so Eric walked away. Then Edward was trying to kiss me, so I turned around and ran into a wall, breaking my nose, and Edward took me to his house and we played karaoke. I sand 'Gives You Hell' by All American Rejects (so I know the song, hey, it was a very vivid and detailed dream!), and then Edward sang 'Here (In Your Arms)' by Hellogoodbye, but we made a bet that whoever lost had to do whatever the winner said. I said if I won, he had to leave me alone or something similar to that, and Edward said if he won I had to kiss him. He won, yes, disturbing, and Alice and some friends walked in on us maki- er, kissing- and said Jasper Whitlock was her boyfriend, Rosalie Whitlock was her new other BFF, and she was dating Emmett McCarty. Then Ali came up with a game using the karaoke, Rosalie sang 'Celebrate' by Le Meu Le Purr, Emmett sang 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor, then Alice sang 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' by Cindy Lauper, then I sang 'The Pretender' by the Foo Fighters and Edward sang 'Bittersweet Symphony' by The Verve. It was really, really strange. Then Rosalie had to make Emmett brownies, Jasper didn't have to go shopping with Alice for a month, and Edward had to stop being a player forever. Out of the blue, Esme, Carlisle, and Drake come inside and Drake calls me 'Auntie Bewah' like he's known me forever and Edward told me he loves me. Four words, the, craziest, dream, ever!

At least I thought it was a dream, until I woke up on the Cullens' couch and looked over and saw a karaoke complete with overhead saying the song that was last sung was 'Bittersweet Symphony' by The Verve. And last but not least, because it is soo hard to miss, a ginormous, and when I say ginormous I mean _ginormous _stuffed bear on the loveseat holding a heart with a note in his hand.

_Dear Bella,_

_In case you're thinking it was, that wasn't a dream. I love you, I just didn't know the right time to say it, this really wasn't what I expected. Can you do me a favor? Meet me in the garage at five-thirty._

_-Edward_

Holy crap. Who would've thought that Mr. Banner's stupid parenting project would've led to all this drama! First, I think Drake is Edward Cullen's son, then, I break my nose and end up at his house. Finally, me and Edward kiss and Alice interrupts with her new best friend, her best friend's boyfriend, and her own boyfriend, and the icing on the cake? Edward falls in love. With me. Which still doesn't make any sense, by the way!

How could someone that looks like him like someone that looks like me? Oh, putting myself down reminds me, where the heck is Alice? Right, probably in her room.

"Alice? Are you awake can I come in?" I whisper-asked while knocking on her door quietly.

"Uh, hold on! Jasper, get off! Here take your clothes, hurry up, Bella's waiting!" she yelled at me and hissed at Jasper.

"You know I can hear you, right?" I asked Alice. "So, you and Jasper, huh? You guys actually, you know, do it? Crazy when you think about it. I mean, Edward Cullen is a virgin, but Alice Cullen isn't?" By this time I was standing in front of Alice's bed while Jasper was in the bedroom-sized bathroom.

"I know, right? Well, anyways, whaddaya want? You sort of interrupted something fun," she pouted.

"Oh, I'm so sure it was fun, sorry, Alice," I replied. Note the sarcasm.

"Bella! I totally forgot! That thing tonight with Edward- the, er, favor! Yay! Please, please, please let me dress you up!" Alice shouted. How does she know everything? Oh, and that's just not fair! She's using her puppy dog eyes! She's a master at that! So. Not. Fair.

"Alice! That's not fair! Fine! But no heels. Or dresses. At all, whatsoever," I compromised.

"Aw, okay, be that way. Let's start with your outfit," Alice was literally bouncing up and down, evil little pixie she is.

"Alice, I don't have to meet him for whatever until 5:30, and it's not like it's a date. Oh my god, it is, isn't it?" I asked.

"Well, finally! Now I don't have to pretend like your just walking his friend Jacob Black's dog or anything else stupid like that. But, don't expect me to tell you where you're going, he wants it to be a surprise. Though, I have to say, it's pretty romantic of him. Don't you think it's weird how all of this," Alice waved her arm around, "Came from Mr. Banner's parenting project? Where is Renesmee anyway? She could go on a play date with little Victoria! That'd be so cute," Alice started cooing at her baby doll- it was slightly weird and disturbing.

"I'm telling you, the kid's name is James! That's way cooler than Victoria, besides, you know it's a guy… right?" Jasper said coming out of the bathroom- with all of his clothes on, thankfully.

"Whatevs, so where is Renesmee?" Alice blew it off like the baby's gender didn't mean anything.

"Okay… Well, she's probably either being babysat by Charlie or suffocating in my backpack," I explained.

"What a bad parent! The whole point of this assignment is to learn responsibility," Jasper and Alice explained at the same time.

"What? There's been a lot going on these past few weeks. And the three weeks Edward and I weren't talking I was an extremely good parent! But with Drake and love and all this crappy homework I haven't been able to be as… maternal as I could've been," I defended.

"True, Edward falling in love is pretty significant," Alice explained to Jasper like an interpreter.

"I know, I was right here, Ali," Jasper said.

"Okay, well, go get Nessie from your backpack and her and Vicky will play while I make you look like a brunette Barbie doll," Alice said.

"_Nessie_?" me and Jasper said at the same time.

"What? Renesmee is a long name and Nessie is a cute nickname, so… yeah…." Alice trailed off.

"Yeah, Nessie is a cute nickname, except that's the Lochness Monster's name!" I accused.

Regardless, I went to go get 'Nessie' anyway. And by the time I came back the bathroom counter was flooded with makeup and hair products.

"Dun dun dun dun!" I muttered.

So sorry, I know I said one chapter per day this week, but I'm officially sick and got a small case of Writer's Block. SO, I couldn't get this up yesterday. Off to write the twelfth chapter, but first!

**Dedicated to:**

**PEaCeLoVeEdWaRd1901 and Lawrence Kutner. Why'd ya have to die, man? You were one of my favorite characters! Always so happy, but you're actually suicidal? What the heck? Actually, I'm Team House, I think you were murdered by the same people who killed your parents. Smart of them to make it seem like a suicide. K Bye!**


	11. Waking Up Bom bom bom!

**Disclaimer: Rights? What Rights? No Twilight rights for me. =*(**

**I'M BA-ACK!!!**

**BPOV-**

Alice was silly sometimes. I means, It's just a baby doll! She's not alive, so why should her being trapped in my backpack make me a bad parent? It's not like I would do that to a real kid, so why is she so concerned?

"How hard is it? You know your motorcycle is quiet! Just follow them to the meadow, then hook up your BlueTooth and fill me in! I really wanna know how their date goes, pleeaassee?" Alice whined so quietly I had to lean down and listen through the crack at the bottom of the door.

"Aw, Alice, you know those puppy dog eyes aren't fair! Fine! But, you have to wait until after I come home," Jasper agreed.

Oh my gosh, Alice is sending Jasper to spy on me and Edward's… date? It's so weird using hose words in the same sentence. All because of that stupid parenting project! You know what? Now I hate Mr. Banner even more! There's way too much drama in my life now.

"BELLA! WHERE DID YOU GO!?!? DID YOU FALL INTO YOUR BACKPACK?" Alice screamed. Ouch. I forgot I was still at the bottom of the door until she practically shouted in my ear.

"Here, here, I'm right… here," I explained pretending to pant like I had to run up the stairs. My face probably gave me away because Alice looked at me suspiciously and mouthed to Jasper to 'watch out and be careful' when she thought I wasn't looking.

"Hmm, you know, I think I'll go get doughnuts **(Are you happy, Brian? I spelled it doughnuts and not donuts. Are you happy, now? Yeah-ee-ee-yeah? C'mon tell it to my face or- sorry, I like that song. You never here Michelle Branch anymore.)**," Jasper mused. Doughnuts? That's the best he can thing of? Doughnuts? That's pretty lame.

"Okay, have fun, save the glazed one for me!" I played along.

Several outfits, pokes, "Look ups," and "Look downs" later… I looked gorgeous! I was wearing light blue skinny jeans that were supposed to look slightly torn with a flowy purple top that had a small V-neck and black peep-toe flats. I was so ecstatic! Flats? Yes, no heels! My hair looked beautiful; it was pulled back out of my face by a clear, see-through clip and the rest fall down on my shoulders in a cascade of perfectly-placed curls.

"Wow, Alice, I'm speechless! Me, speechless!" Rosalie Whitlock came in, seemingly from the direction of the guest room. So that's where her and Emmett went last night!

"MARY ALICE BRANDON CULLEN! What did you do to me? I look--"

"Amazing? No, I don't think that covers it… Wonderful? Not even close… Drool-worthy? Yeah, I guess that works… for now…." Alice interrupted, smiling.

"Yeah, exactly," I agreed nodding my head, watching the curls bob up and down, up and down.

"Ohmigosh! Bella! Get down to the garage now! Edward's been waiting for you for all of… thirty-seven seconds! **(Okay, so I had it pointed out to me, and I feel sooo incredibly stupid. I meant thirty-seven seconds came from Eclipse, so whatever I said, I'm sorry! I feel sooo dumb….)" **Alice exclaimed.

"Good luck, Bella! Don't worry, we'll bond later, but now you'd better go down there and knock Edward's socks off!" Rose enthused. Wow, that was nice, I can tell we're gonna be close friends.

"Yeah, with what I did to her, his socks will be all around the world by the time he says hello, and all I did was enhance her natural beauty," Alice agreed.

"Pffft! I don't have any 'natural beauty,'" I muttered under my breath.

"Get downstairs now, young lady," Alice commanded, clearly hearing what I had said. She's always telling me I don't see myself clearly. Whatever.

I saw Edward sitting on their fluffy, white sofa as soon as I got downstairs.

"Hey beautiful, ready to go?" Edward asked, still staring at the TV.

And then he turned around. His mouth literally dropped open.

"Bella? Is that you? You look… wow…. No, seriously, I'm speechless! Me, speechless!" Edward repeated Rosalie's reaction.

"Heh, that's what Rose said. So, where are we going, Mr. Lovey-dovey?" I asked.

He quickly regained his composure and replied with a simple "You'll have to wait and see."

He skipped over to my side. Edward Cullen. Skipped. Wow. Seriously, what is so special about me?

I walked with him to the garage, holding his shiny, silver Volvo c30. Wow, that's shiny. Really shiny. Did I mention his Volvo is extremely shiny? The glare hurt my eyes… and there was no light in the room.

"What a shiny car you have," I murmured.

"All the better to make people jealous with," he replied like it was no big deal.

I started to walk towards the passenger door, but Edward beat me to it and opened the door for me. I climbed in at the same time he as starting the engine, though. I leaned over to close the door to this mega-shiny car, but Edward had already closed it.

"What a gentleman you are," I whispered.

"All the better to charm you with," he answered.

I couldn't help it. C'mon it was funny, the Little Red Riding Hood references. Edward looked at me like I was crazy- or having a seizure.

Once I reassured him for the thirty-seventh time I was fine **(yep, because I'm so unoriginal I'd rather use thirty-seven three times than come up with something else, like seventeen or something.), **he started the car. He still didn't look convinced, but we had wasted exactly seventeen minutes in the car already and really needed to leave.

What I was sure was supposed to be at least a two hour drive became twenty minutes due to his crazy driving. Seriously, he was going over 100 miles per hour!

"What? You don't like me so much you have to make a two hour trip become a twenty minute one? Why are we here anyways?" I asked taking a look at my surroundings. I know from overhearing Alice talking to Jasper (who should be somewhere around here if I'm not mistaken) this date's at some meadow… wow, that sounds girly.

"We have to walk five miles to get to where we need to be, but if you want I could carry you, or something…." he trailed off.

"Do you want to carry me, Cullen?" I smirked.

"Well, you know… maybe… a little bit… You know what? Let's just go…." he stammered. Is it just me or did he seem a little sad?

"If you do want to carry me that's fine; I'll probably kill myself tripping over a fern or root anyway," I explained, gesturing to the forest we had yet to enter.

He smiled from ear to ear and suddenly my feet weren't touching the ground and we were heading into the forest- in the opposite direction of the trail. Oh man, this is gonna be a long hike.

XXX

HOLY CROW!!! This place is effing amazing! It is gorgeous! I was literally mesmerized.

"Edward, how did you find this place?" I asked, whispering.

"Eh, me and a friend, you know Jacob Black? Yeah, we found it on a hike a few years ago," he explained.

I was suddenly thrown violently back into reality.

"Never mention _his_ name around me- _ever_." I said menacingly.

"Yeah, okay…. We're enemies now anyways- he's on the La Push football team, you know, the Wolves, and-" he started, but I cut him off.

"Trust me, Edward, I know everything there is to possibly know about that…" I shuddered, "and if you know what's good for you, you'll never talk about him with me unless I start the conversation," I ended forcefully.

"You're right, besides, we need to go now," he said, setting me down on the field of flowers.

"Are you kidding? We walked all that way to just go back to the car?" I accused.

"No, silly Bella, relax and come with me…" he trailed off, probably thinking something I don't want to know.

"Edward! You're drooling. Stop thinking your sick thoughts and let's go," I snapped him out of his trance.

"Sorry."

He led me over to a little red blanket spread out across a patch of grass that was about as green as his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Bella, so sorry…" he whispered, almost like he didn't want me to hear.

"Sorry for what?" I asked, confused.

"Everything. I'm sorry I told you I love you, I'm sorry you hurt your nose, and I'm sorry for this…" he trailed off, getting closer and closer and closer and closer.

Just as we were literally three millimeters away from each other…

"Bella? Bella? Oh my God, Bella? Please! Please! Wake up! It's been three days, Bella! Please…." I heard someone wailing… Alice?

"It's okay, Alice, she'll be up soon, it's okay," Was that Rosalie Whitlock's voice?

"Alice? Rose? What ar- why am I in a hospital bed? What's going on? What do you mean, 'three days'? Did Edward actually tell me…" I trailed off, deciding to keep Edward telling me he loves me to myself, considering that I don't know what time I passed out.

"Bella, you were walking away from Edward, I guess, and you walked into a brick wall and passed out. You've been in a mini-coma for the past three days," Alice told me. "And how did you know Rosalie Whitlock?"

"Uh, when I was out I was having this really vivid dream… you introduced me to Rosalie Whitlock. Weird, right? I know. Hi, Rosalie, I'm Bella Swan. So, what did I miss?" I explained.

"Well, I met Rosalie, Emmett, that's her boyfriend, Edward broke up with all three of his girlfriends and is currently not dating anyone, though who knows when that could change, and oh yeah, I asked Jasper Whitlock to the party I'm throwing this weekend, please don't kill me, but I told Charlie and Renee you were already coming!" Alice said in one breath, holding her arms over her head like I was going to hit her. I totally would've, damn you, see-through doors.

"Fine! I'll come on one condition, or I'm not going at all and there's no way you could change my mind. I'm choosing what to wear," I compromised.

"But! Aw, come on! Fine! Meanie!" Alice pouted. Perfect. I knew exactly what I was going to wear!

XXX

"Bella! Why don't you wear this kind of stuff to school? You look so hot! Wow, it's hard to believe you chose this and not me or Rose," she said, admiring what I was wearing, which was, you guessed it, what I was wearing on the date in my 'dream'.

"What time does the party start, Alice?" I asked, bracing myself.

"Riiiigght…." _DING DONG! _"Now," Alice chirped, looking pretty proud of herself.

"I'LL GET IT!!!" Emmett, Rose's teddy bear of a boyfriend shouted from the first floor.

"We'd better get down there," Rosalie sighed.

Well, here goes nothing.

**(HA HA! YOU THOUGHT I'D END HERE, BUT YOU WERE WRONG!!! MUAH HA HA!!!)**

It's an hour into this party and I am soo bored. Don't get me wrong, this is one of the best parties I've ever been forced to attend, no one can throw a party better than a Cullen, it's just… I guess parties aren't my thing.

Uh-oh, here comes Alice, she's gonna be all like 'Why aren't you partying?' and I'll think of something on the spot.

"Bella! Why aren't you partying?" Check.

"Uh… I gotta go to the bathroom, I'll see ya in a bit," I thought of right then. Check.

Whoa, déjà vu. Note the sarcasm.

"Okay, well, we're gonna start Truth or Dare in a while, probably about two hours, so be down here by then!" she shouted over Lilly Allen's 'The Fear'.

_I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Here. _I thought as I walked up the Cullens' marble, creamy staircase.

What was that? I swore it was… the same song as Edward's ringtone. I walked towards the sound, coming from the room next to Edward's and peeked in. Sure enough, there sat Edward Cullen, playing some beautiful piece of music. Wow, that sounds so… amazing, gorgeous, beautiful. There aren't too many words that would fit the description of the sounds coming out of that piano. And the player was Edward Cullen- no pun intended.

"Did you like it?" I heard a velvet-like voice asked. And then, being me, jumped a foot in the air and blushed several shades darker than scarlet **(ha! Scarlett! She was soo cool! It was awesome of her to not get an abortion, if any of you haven't read **_Someone Like You _**by Sarah Dessen go to the library right now, even if it is one in the morning. It's not here, it's 8:40 exactly, I'm just saying go. Now. Right now)**.

"Uh, yeah, it was really… amazing, Edward," I said looking at the gold carpet.

"Oh, that's good. I really want the person I dedicated it to to love it," he said, right as I looked up, looking straight into my eyes. Oh, he likes someone else. That sucks.

"Bella?" Edward asked, "would you like to play twenty questions?" he continued, grinning.

"Seriously? Um, okay?" I tentatively walked over to the piano chair. "You go first."

**Bom bom bom! So, did you like it? I AM SOOOOO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, you see, my step dad's computer completely died, so he uses this one for his work and stuff and keeps it out in the living room where I don't want to type. I tried to get this up three days ago, but Microsoft Works wasn't working one day, then the Internet wasn't working the second day, and then I could only finish half of this the third day. So here you go! Oh, and Rosalie, please, please, please, please update your story and I'll post at least once a week! I'm really sorry again!**

**Onto better news, I made my own website! The link's on my profile, but wait! Before you check that out! Lemme finish. K? Also, I made a new story and community! Yay! 'Master Pick Up Artist' (sooo lame I know, it's a long story, it all started with a video game…) if any of you want me to show what happened with Edward, Jasper, and Bella and an Epilogue, twenty requests! Um, my community is 'Hilarious Twilight Stories' or maybe it was 'Hilarious Twilight Fanfics', I don't remember, k, I have to go, bye!!!**


	12. A Bit of Bella's Past

Chapter 13- Bella's Past

BPOV

"Bella?" Edward asked, "Would you like to play Twenty Questions?" he continued, grinning.

"Seriously? Um, okay?" I tentatively walked over to the piano chair. "You go first."

"Hmm… What's your favorite color?" he inquired.

"Green, what's yours?" I would never tell him why green was my favorite color- because it was the color of his eyes.

"Brown," he answered easily. I wonder why he chose brown, I mean, it's so boring. Maybe he likes things like that. "Okay… what's your favorite flower?" he asked.

"Freesias, they smell so good! Uh, let's see… well, why did you break up with all of your girlfriends? Not that I care, I just… all of them? Why not just one or two?" I asked, getting straight to business. I hope he bought my trying to play dumb!

"Freesias? Interesting. So… why do you care anyway? I don't buy you trying to play dumb, sorry. Well, the truth is, I really, really like this one girl but she's not impressed by me and my 'player ways' so I decided to try to show her I'm a good guy," he explained, burning a hole into my face. "Do you have any crazy exes?" he joked.

"Oh, I see how it is, you can ask me anything in the world but I get crap for asking you something simple," I smiled. "Uh, I'd rather not talk about that topic- touchy," I explained, fervently hoping he wouldn't press me on the subject.

"C'mon, you know you can tell me anything! Oh, well, you probably wouldn't believe that, so I pinky promise I won't tell anyone!" he whined, holding his right little finger out.

"Fine, but I'm holding you to this, Cullen. If you break this promise I will personally make sure your face gets rearranged." I agreed, holding his right pinky with my own.

"I promise to you, Isabella Marie Swan, what gets talked about in this room will stay in this room," he said. I looked into his eyes (almost getting lost in them yet again) to see if he was joking- and found nothing but seriousness and… love? Absolutely not! _That was a dream, Bella!_

"I cannot believe I'm about to tell my mortal enemy this, but… Jacob… Black. Wow, that was hard to get out. He was my best friend, and eventually boyfriend, and was always the overprotective-brother figure in my life. Still, we had an amazing relationship- until he started hanging out with these…" I shuddered. "They weren't exactly a gang, just a group of evil, horrible people. Sam Uley, Jared Kelly, Paul Grey, Embry Call, and the most reluctant to be cruel of all, Quil Ateara. Still, I hope they _all_ burn in hell.

"Anyways, one day I was going shopping in Port Angeles- you know me and my books- but when I saw there was only about two books in the store, so I decided to turn around and head back.

"Unfortunately, I had parked a ways up the street because that new Bella Italia place was so packed they took up practically the whole street! So I walked and was about five cars down from my wonderful truck when I was glaring at the clouds behind me and saw Jared and Paul coming towards me. Of course I freaked out and started walking faster. That's when I noticed Embry and Quil coming from the side. I just kept walking really fast and they kept the same pace. By now I was way past my car, but I was on the other side of the street from my car because I parked across from the bookstore instead of next to it. What? There weren't any parking spaces in front of the store! Anyways, I had just crossed the street (because Embry and Quil had finally caught up with me) when Jake and Sam showed up. You know how that one part of Port Angeles is absolutely deserted? Yeah, that's where we were. Of course I wondered aloud what the flip was going on-" by now I could feel the tears that had been building up overflow and run down my face. Alice is going to kill me if my mascara runs! Oh, no, wait, she put on that waterproof mascara… Ha ha, it's almost like Alice knew this was gonna happen! " and Jake just asked everyone if they thought I was pretty.

"I was freaking out of course, I mean, the second he opened his mouth you could smell the pot- with a hint of some strong alcohol- on his breath. Like I was saying, Jake just asked everyone if they thought I was pretty and… I think it was Sam, he said something like 'It's hard to tell with her all covered up' and… they- they…." I just started downright sobbing into Edward.

"But then there was a really big flash and Alice came up to me and sprayed the guys with pepper spray. It was so amazing! By the way, that's how we met. She took me to the ER and stayed there the whole time until I was allowed to go back to my house. Even then she stayed until I was one hundred and ten percent better. She's so amazing and oh crap. Truth or Dare is gonna start in, like, fifteen minutes! Alice is going to kill me! My hair's a mess! Quick, where's the bathroom?" I asked Edward.

**A/N: Don't worry, I didn't go into a coma like Bella! So, for those of you who were too LAME to read my A/N for last chapter (which I'm gonna take down really soon), do you remember when Eric was trying to get a date with Bella? Yes or no? And remember when Bella hit a brick wall? Yes or no? See, that's when she was in a coma. I think ONE person reviewed saying they understood when the actual chapter came out. I'm really sorry this chappie's so short, it was gonna be super duper long, but I have a short attention span and wanted you guys to be able to read already. Plus, I've been busy ALL FRIGGIN JULY. So sorry. Now it's time for me to beg for forgiveness and ask for ten reviews before I post the next chapter ASAP and then some advertising for my other stories. Gots ta go! Buhbuhlye!**


	13. The most dramatic chapter yet!

A/N: Okay, so those of you that don't read this will seriously be lost, so please just read this one, if nothing else!

I have officially adopted off The Parenting Project to BeastBoyLover246. I completely trust her with this and I'm sure she'll do an EXCELLENT job, so if you want to keep reading TPP please go check her out.

Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed! I hope I'm not letting anyone down!

Thanks to…:

(just going in order of reviews)

Sprinter1*

Gorgeousemmettx3

Twilightvampire258093

Kristyn1994

'my '* (anonymous reviewer)

Mudtalon-Wing

Einstniette

CherryBlossom654*

Lesloo

anonimous (anonymous reviewer)

KatieCullen200

'

JMandFireFlies

b-Kaz

Edward Cullen's One and Only

fsjdhnh

jayd-n33

cris.f.a*

kitcool

Jasper winked*

pEaCeLoVeEdWaRd1901* (I ESPECIALLY hope I'm not letting you down D: )

.Aras*

-iLOVEbrightcolors-

ifairyu

BeastBoyLover246* (Thanks so much, Rosalie!!! Lylas ;) )

details-withheld* (same as pEaCeLoVeEdWaRd1901- you rock my socks off!)

Alex (I think this might be the same as my ? Anonymous reviewer)

CullenLuv01

PenPrincess97

littlemissattitude94

Snickerz610

Bookbat4ever*

In-love-with-his-golden-eyes

apples123

Zany Smile

LaughKittykatForEver* (you rock my socks off as well :D )

Liveurlifecrazy

alyhaisstunna*

Jenn6891

ShadowGlance

Vampire Wings

Whisperoak88

Sarah (anonymous reviewer- maybe)

Megs (anonymous reviewer)

Smiley kylee (anonymous reviewer?)

Lisa (anonymous reviewer?)

vampire's kisses 4 me*

Stella-luna1616

Dana (anonymous reviewer)

Kaylee9407

Boyslikegirlz21

Vampirezrule (anonymous reviewer)

Living For Today

natalia martinez

alxriderfan15*

xxDanberxxSpixiexx*

Now and Forever (anonymous reviewer)

Amylily123

mashimaro401*

r99smith

.Parades

MusicIsMyBoyfriend33

Crazybookworm95

Rubysun13

Natasha

Mibebes95

slugbuglvr

oreoscookiesandmilk

Team-Edward3849

TeaCullen

Lost in Believing

Bitmeplease235*

UltravioletSpark*

Liz* (anonymous reviewer)

OKAY, SO, you guys ALL rock my face off so hard, but the * ones are extrafullyspeciallyness! No offense to those un*ified. The ones that have a * are either one of my close friends here on fanfiction, OR you guys are AWESOME reviewers!!! The last three were my first three reviewers and even though you've only reviewed once, I really appreciate you guys being first!

To all that are sad about me stopping this story, I promise BeastBoyLover246 will make it a billion times better (No pressure, Rosalie XD You can do it without thinking :D ) !!!

Thanks to all my reviewers, I love you guys! (I feel like I'm in a band that's really popular but breaking up… even though not that many people know me on here XD ) I can't express my undying gratitude! Love you!

-Rebekah (:þ

PS- I highly doubt I'm going to stop making stories, but I really just don't have the time and effort needed for this story. It was so much fun in the beginning, though XD

I LOVE Y'ALL!!!


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